Coming Home

The day we came home it was such a beautiful day and exciting day! We had no idea what was getting ready to turn our lives upside down. The hospital had told us the crying would calm down once he got home and got settled in to his surroundings!!! Ha Ha they were soooooo very wrong! Goose cried a lot, he did not sleep through the night, would not eat, nothing he was so miserable. I could calm him down with a bath and that was the only thing that worked (for a while) then that was over. I was working 60 hrs a week and not getting any sleep due to the fact he wanted me to hold him, not his mom or aunt just me. I thought he is just spoiled and I have got to stop holding him. Nope, that was not it at all. As Goose grew I knew something was going on with him. He would not eat or play he really made no noise at all and if anyone came to visit it was a nightmare. You could not make any loud noise and you had to almost fight him to get clothes on to go anywhere. I could not get anyone to understand (doctors, parents etc) that something was wrong. They would say "Oh he is just spoiled and he will get passed this stage!" He would want to play with the same toys all the time and watch the same cartoon over and over then he would act like what he just saw. There again the doctor laughed and said "Guess he just likes that cartoon it will pass". By the age of  (well I'm gonna guess here) about 2 he was not crawling or doing anything he should of been doing so I looked at the doctor and said "So is this just a phase and it is gonna pass?" I know I was being a smart ass but Oh well I was tired of being nice. I guess you know we then changed doctors! We went to a doctor I knew nothing about and hoped for the best. I don't usually go to a doctor that I know nothing about but went out on a limb I was desperate at this point. We walked in the office which made Goose very anxious since he had never been there and I didn't say a lot I wanted to see if the doctor would notice the fingers flicking and the anxiety level and SHE DID. We fought through a lot of battles to finally get a doctor who would listen and it still took over a year to see a doctor who would give us the diagnosis of "Autism". By the time we saw this doctor we were trying to potty train (now that was fun, not). The doctor was amazing he stayed with us for 4 hours and tons of questions,physical exam and watching before he gave us the Autism diagnosis. I just sat and cried and he let me! I knew nothing about "Autism" and had no idea what to do except Pray! He have me a lot of paper work and information that day but way to much for me to remember. I was overwhelmed and frustrated. Then I told myself "Stop acting crazy this is the same child you have been raising for 3 years now you want to panic!?" I will say the same doctor not only gave us the Autism diagnosis he gave us the OCD, anxiety disorder on that same day. It was a lot and I was just trying to take it all in and get all I could manage to retain so I could make sure Goose had all he needed to make it in a cruel and uncaring world.