Thinking

I am sitting here this morning and my mind is racing. I met a lady on Facebook last night and she is just full of information I was amazed!! I would like to get in her head for a little while and figure all this out. My kids were mainstream kids the worse thing was Asthma when they were little now I have a grandson that I just cant figure out and it drives me crazy. I am not the Mom or the Dad I am the Nana and always thought that meant "spoil them and send them home" but reality set in and that is not what it means!!! He is such a blessing to me and he is my world. I have a lot of anger towards his parents and just when I think I have come to accept there selfish ways they do something else to remind me I haven't accepted anything yet. Goose (grandson nickname) saved my daughters life. My daughter has a heart condition and if she had not of gotten pregnant we would not of found it till it was to late. She had heart surgery at 8 months so she could get through the delivery and during this surgery we lost Goose he had no heart beat and no movement. They brought my daughter back to her room and gave us 15 min to talk to her and pray he would move. The doctors came back in the room to take her to delivery and when the doctor touched her belly Goose kicked him. I stood and cried I guess for 30 min or more and she just layed there like nothing had happened. The delivery was horrible and he was taken to NICU and she was taken to the heart floor. They give you wrist bands so you can get into the NICU and the Dad took the wristband so I couldn't have it and left the hospital and didn't come back so I could not get into NICU to see Goose. The nurse felt bad for me so she took me to the NICU to find out Goose needed a feeding tube cause he didn't know how to suck. The doctor went and got my daughter to see if Goose would eat for her and she held him for a min and handed him to me. I looked down at him and said "OK Little Man you need to eat for Nana so I can take you home and spoil you" he open his eyes and took 2 sucks from the bottle. I sat and cried again!! He stayed for a week and we went home. We went daily and sat with him. I would sing to him and rock him and my daughter would say "Mom everyone can hear you" I said "Good than Goose can hear me also". How can you walk away from your child the child that saved your life on top of that?? She is now pregnant again even though she was told she would probably never be able to have another child. When I read other post it is the Mom or the Dad who is asking for help or advice and I am neither I am the Nana so just got to get my head around that. Maybe it will be to our benefit since I have been down this road as far as raising a child 2 times and now. To anyone who reads this I am here for help,friendship,advice or even criticisms and to help,friend,advise and possibly criticize. God Bless You all from the most blessed Nana in the world.